Ramblings

This picture belongs to makemestfu.
So it's 2013. That means that in 20 days I will have lived 21 years. Which is weird. 21 means all grown up and I don't really feel like that at all. I mean, I am excited for what is coming, but I'm not excited to have all the responsibilities. I am excited that I can now legally drink anywhere in the world, except that I don't have the money to go anywhere. In Holland you're already allowed to start drinking at the age of 16, which means that I could already legally drink for 5 years. So that excitement is out of the window.
Yesterday I had an enormous breakdown. I had to write my last essay and I didn't want to do it when I was in England because I was too lazy and too preoccupied with my dissertation. Which meant that on Monday, it suddenly dawned on me that I had to finish it before today and I kind of freaked out. And I can safely tell you that you've never read a worse essay than mine. It went nowhere for so long... At least until I reached my count. And I don't know, I feel like a computer in error stage: nothing going in and nothing going out. I tell myself that I'm not too bothered with it but I am. 
Now that I am becoming a grown up, everything seems to go so fast. I am going to graduate this year and I need to start thinking about "the future". And that's vague and scary and I really just want to live in the moment. Planning your future is hard! So on that note, I am going to start taking 2013 seriously but also try to live in the moment. If you're not excited with what you already have, how can you be excited with what's coming? So, in 2013, I hope you all have the moments of your life - to smile more, stand taller and dream bigger.